Emma, Give a Little Love Back to the World, 1990Īlmost as bad as Black Lace's humour was Emma's queasy earnestness. A generous listener might call those growling vocals a nod to London's then-vital punk scene, but this wearisome, nudge-wink performance is closer to George Formby than Johnny Rotten. It may not be Black Lace's worst crime against humanity (that would be ' Agadoo') but this country-inflected rock flop was still tripe. Nicki French, Don't Play That Song Again, 2000 Scooch, Flying the Flag (For You), 2007Įverything that felt fresh about Gina G's 1996 disco hit was regurgitated here as electropop. Desperately angling for camp classic status (which they have, regrettably, since achieved), Scooch had one of the laziest gimmicks of any UK Eurovision entry: "Let's dress as airline stewards! Because we're singing a song about flying!" An eight-hour delay on Ryanair would be more fun than this. The song came an undistinguished 10th. In the years that followed, every member of the band revealed themselves to be not only musically but also financially bankrupt.ĥ9. get back up again," they sang. They couldn't. But this synth-y sprawl was a new low for the once successful boy band. Until 2011, nobody thought they'd be looking back fondly at the "good" days of Blue. I loathed the bland, corporate greige of this by-the-numbers pop effort at the time, but listening to it years later - after all those pandemic-era reassurances that "you're not alone" - it now seems an innocent relic of a simpler time. Pasteurised leftovers from The Voice, Joe and Jake were as thrilling as low-fat yogurt. Their catchy "kiddie" chorus aims at the youthful rebellion Pink Floyd captured in 'Another Brick in the Wall (Part II)', but combined with Sampson it sounds more like Tim Westwood freestyling over a primary-school assembly. This misguided hiphop effort paired ageing rapper Daz Sampson with a group of girls in school uniforms. No wonder: it sounds like a rejected Survivor B-side. Unlike our previous Eurovision entries, Ryder's offering couldn't even crawl into the UK Top 75. Led by charisma-vacuum Maynard Williams, this manufactured sextet were an unprecedented flop in the pop charts. Just listen to that horrible, squelching synth bass. Seemingly short of breath and struggling to hit even the few notes the song required, he deserved every one of his nul points. Flanked by giant trumpets (a nod to the tune's parping synth-brass), and wearing a collection of zips held together with faux-leather, Newman sang like a dad having a go at karaoke after a few pints, not a contestant for the world's most-watched musical event. In other hands, this could have been mediocre. They claimed they couldn't hear the backing track. The Liverpool pop duo have since admitted that their performance was out of tune. Now notorious for its "nul points" last-place result, every part of this song is a mess. Here, we look back at all 65 UK entries to see how they hold up, from the ridiculous to the sublime. Dodgy double-acts and spurious voting tactics have seen us finish anywhere from first place (last clinched in 1998) to dead last (most recently in 2021). The UK's Eurovision track record has always been contentious. Or will she? To find out, tune in to BBC One for the Grand Final at 8pm on Saturday May 13. All eyes turn to Liverpool, as the nation pins its hopes on Mae Muller, whose I Wrote a Song has already broken into the pop charts (a promising sign).Ī win may be unlikely, but she should at least escape the feared "nul points" given to our 2021 entry, James Newman. The Eurovision Song Contest 2023 is underway - and taking place in the UK for the first time since 1998.
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